Internal Complications

As I write this, it's raining outside, and I swear I have some sort of connection with nature or God is just my personal playwright because this rain has pathetic fallacy written all over it. I am feeling a bit melancholy, ok....a lot. I feel grey and I'm getting cold. Not just cold as in temperature, but on the inside. Yes, and i know in this day and age it seems as if being cold is glorified and having a heart is frowned upon. Society's views changes, get with it.  I feel as if  I've hit the level two rocks above Rock Bottom, and I can even explain how I feel for anyone to completely understand. It's mind boggling, so much that I myself have trouble figuring out whats the problem, is it right in my face or is there something underlying. Something that not quite ready to surface but still aches beneath. I wonder if I'm deliberately burying this ache , which is why it can't dig it's way. Too  much dirt is piling up. I try to figure myself out on a daily basis, that's why I'm so obsessed with zodiac signs because it's difficult being me, I'm my biggest challenge, my greatest enemy and my greatest advisor but I'm not a friend. I'm complicated and it irritates me somewhat and drain all my energy to spend time with myself. I'd rather get lost in a book, and if I should ask for someone's opinion of me , I will disagree because I know myself but I don't know me.
 Now that's complicated.


TwistedM