Views from the Past Life

As a kid, you know you never really sweat the small stuff. You just know what you know, what's presented to you and you live with it. Until one day, you realize life has ALOT of layers and if you're like me, you want to know everything. One thing that I've learnt , yet constantly forget, is that everything is revealed, eventually. So if something is bothering you now, with the rate technology is going now, you'll figure it out in a week or two. Don't sweat it, of course you'll sweat it, heck we always sweat it until one day we just don't. Our mind becomes occupied with other things, and it's not until it doesn't matter that you happen upon a Instagram post or snap or something that reveals a whole truckload of just the tiniest missing piece of the puzzle and then your thirst for knowledge is completely sated and disregarded in one swift motion, simply moving on to a next post or closing the app to open the next.
As we grow older, we find interest in new things that were once such a bother, like a minute ago, my mom told me she would call me tomorrow and after a long day of self loathing and boredom, I had a fleeting moment of happiness. Genuine happiness that I'd get a call tomorrow so I could simply tell my mother about the next hairstyle I'll be doing and how excited I am and the small details of my day and my life that she has to listen to. Even though I've told her probably a thousand times already. But it's cool. I've had a bit of time to do some reflection and scold myself for stupid decisions I made eons ago that still ride me but I've accepted that I'll never let go of some things because they're lessons and they only resurface to remind me never to do that again, until I learn my lesson that it is.  One summer I braided my hair and had a huge hair mishap and I just cried. The next summer I had a similar mishap and you can imagine how my life was in shambles until I finally learned that these things, simple things such as taking down braids requires patience , and guess who finally took out her braids successfully this past October?! Me, of course! So now, my lesson is learnt and I can rest easy that I won't do that stupid shit again. So that's how my mind works, fantastic I tell you , so I've accepted that I have way more issues to solve I just simply have to wait for them to present themselves and see how much of a good job I do.  Of course time will tell.
In primary school I always thought of my college years, and here I am with one semester in the bag and before you know it, second year will be upon me. I always counted how many years it would take for me to get to college and what my college life would be like, I watched a lot of movies of course and I wanted it just like that, while reality has hit and it isn't what I expected, I still don't have any new  friends in my faculty , well except one and I'm still struggling to achieve the mini goals I set for the semester, things aren't that bad. My friends are a stones' throw away if I need them and I'm pretty content with everything that's going on for now, however now that my past has collided with my future, and my 10 year old me could only see up to this point, The onus is now left on my 19 year old self to look to the future, which I find to be a dreadful task, of course it's  waiting on me to clear it all up and let my wants and dreams take me where I want to go but for now I only want to see as far as summer or spring break. I want to live in the now before the visions of the future blind me and I'm whisked away to what lies ahead. Can I just take in the sunset and the Christmas breeze, actually feel the wind on my skin and the warm rays of sunshine baking me to a crisp chocolate biscuit, hear my friend's laughter and enjoy their company , listen to my mother on the phone and my siblings in the background, share a joke with my grandmother and actually get her to laugh rather than  annoy me by making it logical and explaining how that doesn't make any sense since..blah..blah..blah... Can I enjoy the joy of life for at least once before I'm rushed into the already fast paced life and by pass life in a blur rather than slow down to examine the hills and clouds and all the surrounding sounds?  Just once... If even for a minute. 

"I'd rather be left behind to witness nature taking life than rush off into the sunrise/sunset where nothing life"


TwistedMB