Come Foreward

  The past few weeks have been plagued with so many twists and turns, I feel as if I'm on Mt. Rosser. I find that writing about issues rather than thinking about them makes it waay easier to solve them. The heavy burden of personal issues are slowly tipping me over the edge of insanity and I refuse to be shoved into the deep abyss that is depression. I came to the realization that once again I am the main issue and I create these problems for myself and then  I glue myself to these issues and fight with myself to let them go,  that in itself is a task.

 I have set goals for myself this year that I really want to come through on, but I fear change as much as I need it, which is  why I hug my problems so tightly, it's almost as if I mother them. However, guys attachments are unhealthy, for the most part. You never really see how your actions affect you right away until it's a few years or months down the line and you're finally attached to something or someone you cant let go. that's when you realize, you've messed up and it takes all your time, effort and energy to scrape the unhealthy scum out of your thoughts and life but it seems as if its regenerating and not disappearing for good.

 The issues that I'm attached to seem to have nowhere to go and that sucks because while you sit and worry about the whole world, the inhabitants of the world are living their individual lives and aren't aware of your existence. Everything that's bottled up is extremely hard to pour out , eventually they will but the question is when and how. When will they roll out of the mind imitating how a name rolls off the tongue. When will they cease to settle in ones thoughts, and finally HOW, how do I reclaim my individuality from this point onward , How do I find myself, How do I finally get rid of the fear I hold so dear and How do I reap all the benefits from everything life has to offer.

  No one can answer that question but you. You are your own person, and your independence is a right that belongs to you and is there for you to take advantage , grasp it and hold on tight because while the road may be rocky , it should be your decision and what you wanted that made you choose that path. At the end of the day, no one can live your life for you nor should you live your life through someone else.

  The solution that I can offer however, is to place your emotions/feelings and your mind/ideas/thoughts on a balance beam and ensure that none over powers the other. Feelings have to come into play but too often they're allowed to foot the bill, most individuals rely too much on how they feel when work should be done. Whether it's school related or personal and too often the mind is left on the back seat. I believe that balance works, that's the solution I've come up with and I will try to implement it into my daily life as much as possible and I'll update on how well it's working.


TwistedM    

*time is also an important factor, the time available should be worked with, and if a task does not fit into the schedule then put out the effort to make up for it. :) 
Rescue Myself