Actually Growing Up.
I've officially come to the conclusion that I'm not growing up. It's not that I don't want to, but there's something hindering this process. I've yet to conclude what that is but sooner or later it'll hit me. It always does. Now, obviously as the time passes and days turn into months and so on I grow older in age, wisdom inter alia (lol thank law class for that one). However I have not grown spiritually, and mentally somewhat. My focus is really the mental aspect of it since spiritual growth involves much more than just me.
Recently I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and you can attribute all that to the spoiled bratty side of me. I'm that 17 yr old that throws tantrums. Sad, yes but true. I 'act' out when not given what I want and in the way that I expect it to be given and I pay a lot of attention to detail. So if i want a red dress with blue spots and white horizontal lines, I seriously expect just that, so if i don't get exactly what I ask for, well that becomes a problem. I honestly don't think I can control these emotions or urges that I get when something doesn't go my way and so things happen. If you don't know the feeling , be happy. It's indescribable , I can tell you that.
I really do feel the need to grow up though, because in recent times this method has become useless as no one really cares for you and your 'madness' when you get to seventeen approaching eighteen. You're on your own. So patience definitely has to become a virtue and something you live by. I had a friend a few years ago and he was the calmest , most laid back person I knew. He and I had parents who were abroad and so we shared the same sentiments somewhat, but the difference was he did not care about anything, if there was something he wanted , he could wait months no problem and he'd always get it. I however could not and still cannot wait. I'm extremely impatient and I almost never get it how I want it. He taunted me once , singing it in my ear that i'm a child and that my parents will never think of me as more than the child they remember and from that point on, our every conversation began with "hey kid". I told him he was wrong but faith says he's right. See the key to getting what you want isn't to be a Tasmanian devil, it's to be cool, calm and collected and patient. Let go of 'childish' ways because at this point they'll prove to be useless and it really doesn't make sense, like just grow up because we'll all need to be mature one day and our parents won't always be there to be the knights in shining armour or to give us everything we want, how we want it. Be mature. Keep your cool no matter how heated you get. This is something I definitely need to master but I'll get there, and every little big baby should too. Who knows the 'growing up' method might work.
Btw: click the link and hope no one gets to this point. There's no return after this fam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJKFmZ3YZAg
Recently I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and you can attribute all that to the spoiled bratty side of me. I'm that 17 yr old that throws tantrums. Sad, yes but true. I 'act' out when not given what I want and in the way that I expect it to be given and I pay a lot of attention to detail. So if i want a red dress with blue spots and white horizontal lines, I seriously expect just that, so if i don't get exactly what I ask for, well that becomes a problem. I honestly don't think I can control these emotions or urges that I get when something doesn't go my way and so things happen. If you don't know the feeling , be happy. It's indescribable , I can tell you that.
I really do feel the need to grow up though, because in recent times this method has become useless as no one really cares for you and your 'madness' when you get to seventeen approaching eighteen. You're on your own. So patience definitely has to become a virtue and something you live by. I had a friend a few years ago and he was the calmest , most laid back person I knew. He and I had parents who were abroad and so we shared the same sentiments somewhat, but the difference was he did not care about anything, if there was something he wanted , he could wait months no problem and he'd always get it. I however could not and still cannot wait. I'm extremely impatient and I almost never get it how I want it. He taunted me once , singing it in my ear that i'm a child and that my parents will never think of me as more than the child they remember and from that point on, our every conversation began with "hey kid". I told him he was wrong but faith says he's right. See the key to getting what you want isn't to be a Tasmanian devil, it's to be cool, calm and collected and patient. Let go of 'childish' ways because at this point they'll prove to be useless and it really doesn't make sense, like just grow up because we'll all need to be mature one day and our parents won't always be there to be the knights in shining armour or to give us everything we want, how we want it. Be mature. Keep your cool no matter how heated you get. This is something I definitely need to master but I'll get there, and every little big baby should too. Who knows the 'growing up' method might work.
Btw: click the link and hope no one gets to this point. There's no return after this fam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJKFmZ3YZAg
well said girl
ReplyDeletethanks :)
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